#deathed

by Gavin Castleton

/
1.
Please Dr. Melis, just pull me out, I can’t take any more Show me some mercy— I’m a prisoner in a prisoner Even if you kill him I’ll wear his skin like a straight jacket Every single word just tastes like the mouth of a murderer He told me to hurt you. He wants me to hurt you. Exorcize me I don’t want to share this body with the devil Kill Me quickly I don’t want to lose control I can never do it I never seem to pull that trigger Even though I dream about it I keep freezing for one reason: I don’t ever wanna face her Please Dr. Melis, just let me go I can’t live like this Your drugs shut him up but it’s not enough to erase what he did I see her throat, my fingers in her eyes when I try to sleep Yes, he was in control but maybe I was scared that she was leaving me Oh the vicious irony: captive in the body of my murderer It’s a ghastly currency: trying to sell my tragedy to researchers And I should not have trusted you, A ladder-climbing user like my father was Now I see the ugly truth: I was never made for loving; I was born to weaponize Exorcize me I don’t want to share this body with the devil Kill me quickly I don’t want to lose control I can never do it I never seem to pull that trigger Even though I dream about it I keep freezing for one reason: I don’t wanna have to face her No I could can never do it I never seem to pull that trigger Even though I dream about it I keep breathing For one reason: I don’t wanna have to see her
2.
Pelle 04:36
We’ve all been hoping that you’ll join us for the celebration It’s been ages since the last one It’s such a rare occasion And you’re such a kindred spirit I know this year has been such a nightmare for you We feel so right about this harvest We planned for this all sommar We built the perfect temple for all you newcomers This winter was a long one, I know Everything is frozen The boy who used to warm you feels cold It feels like something’s broken But you’re not broken are you, Dani? You just need to be held by your Family You’ll always be our May Queen You’re never gonna leave You’ll never have to see those fools again Don’t be scared This is sacred You’ll be cared for when they’re taken Like the cleft of my tree I will fill you with the seed When that seed starts to grow I will bury seven crows When she sprouts I will make the iron crib to keep her safe When she blooms at 15 She will pick a mate to join our Family She’ll always have a place to be She’ll never be alone She’ll never have to know the pain you’ve known Family Family Family Family Bränn ner det Bränn ner det Bränn ner det Bränn ner det Bränn ner det Bränn ner det Bränn ner det Bränn ner det Bränn ner det
3.
Grady 07:11
I don’t need it don’t want it but the whiskey keeps me haunted it keeps calling me calling me and I can’t lose it can’t hide it it rattles down inside me it keeps calling me calling me I was dropped on the earth in The Year of the Snake my ma was a nurse and my pa was a fake he said it was the cold but she knew it was the shakes, I guess he couldn’t hold what he couldn’t escape I dropped out of high school in the tenth grade was gonna kill japs for the U.S. Navy picture me: “Lieutenant Delbert Grady” they wouldn’t let me in because my hands were shaky I started working any job that’d pay me I started going with this proper lady She had me cleaning up the church grounds daily Hoping she could dry me out to make a baby We lost our first in the Year of the Rat I lost my shirt when Maz took bat I cracked the egg and the yolk came red if you can’t break through you gonna break your head I don’t need it don’t want it but the whiskey keeps me haunted it keeps calling me calling me and I can’t lose it can’t hide it it rattles down inside me it keeps calling me calling me We sold what’s left and moved to Estes Park laid to rest the thing I did, the darkness I worked hard to make a brand new start kept close to the trailer park, far from the bar In the Year of the Tiger, Louise was born I was pulling double shifts at the Dry Goods Store was clean as whistle but still dirt poor, was good with one kid but she wanted one more When Louise was two, Lisa was due she lit the whole room like the hole in our roof my ma flew out for the big debut she stayed in the Park ’til she died of the flu. I stopped at the Dark Horse after the wake when I came home at three Betty smelled the mistake I awoke in a cell with my head full of ache and remained in a fog ’til the Year of the Dog. I don’t need it don’t want it but the whiskey keeps me haunted it keeps calling me calling me and I can’t lose it can’t hide it it rattles down inside me it keeps calling me calling me When I hit rock bottom at last I was saved from the grave by a broken gasket pickin’ up trash on Route 34 I came upon a man in a broken down Ford I knew just what to do cause I’d seen it before I used my canteen to fill his radiator I brought him into town to look it over with Mel who told us it would take a few days to get the part I drove him up the pass to the Overlook Hotel where repairs were being done before the winter got started Oh what luck for your friend, D. Grady The man, so relieved, was inclined to repay me He noticed I was living in the back of my Studebaker, offerred me a job as the wintertime caretaker. hustled into town to tell Betty and the girls she wouldn’t let me in, she wouldn’t have it any more I swore that it was true, I promised her the world and I knew there was a chance ‘cause she listened through the door please baby baby please baby baby please ergrgggghhh things got better before they got worse I was made for this place like a corpse for a hearse I turned down the boiler each night like clockwork I cleaned every station, from tool shed to desk clerk Seemed like we were finally home with some fresh mountain air to breath life into bone and nothing but time, no TV or phone, should’a known that the wife couldn’t leave it alone she started real subtle, just little observations wondering why we didn’t get the best accommodations wondering if I should’ve asked for better compensation perhaps that Mr. Ulmann guy had known my reputation? the storm rolled in, my wits wore thin with the girls indoors, there was double the din and Betty doing nothing ‘bout the trouble they’re in always trying to get one over on me, dressing like twins and… one night they took the joke too far Betty found a whiskey bottle underneath the bar and next to it a half smoked Bayuk cigar she threw them in my face, left a 4-inch and I couldn’t get my mind right after that night I started seeing voices, I started hearing lights I dreamt I was a minataur running through the maze I woke up on the second floor, banging on a door I don’t need it don’t want it but the whiskey keeps me haunted it keeps calling me calling me and I can’t lose it can’t hide it it rattles down inside me it keeps calling me calling me before long I was sleeping in the lounge Betty said it wasn’t safe to keep a gun around I startled her awake one night ripping at her gown and the girls were hearing whispering and radio sounds One night by the fire, while she taught me to read, Louise stopped my lesson to tell me, “we should leave” “I want you to like it here,” I tried to reset her, “I wish that we could stay here forever and ever…” she wandered upstairs as I chopped up the kindling stopped mid swing when the front desk phone rang those lines have been down for at least two months, but here was this call from a Bob T. Watson “Grady, do you know what your daughters intend? Did you happen to wonder where your matches have been? The Management feels that they lack discipline! Perhaps you’re not so… adept at correction?” The next thing I remember is Betty’s screaming I opened my eyes to see my girls hacked to pieces Before I could react the wall exploded to my right She glared down the barrel while she put me in the site I crawled around the corner as she tore down the hall I slid on the blood and a chair broke my fall when she bore down on me with the shotgun raised every clock in the Overlook rang out its praise! She startled and dropped the gun within my reach I snatched it up and fired it into her teeth and then it was done, my duties complete, the silence was torn by the voice of Bob T: “Grady, I must say I’m rather impressed you’ve proven yourself to work well under stress but before we can offer you the year-round employment you’ll have to get downstairs and shut off the boiler.” iI was hell getting down there with one mangled leg but I’m a hard working man, ya that’s what the man said, and with all of those bodies stacked safely in their beds I swallowed both barrels and I opened my head. Epilogue “Colorado Lounge,” the lift boy called out “Congratulations on the new job, sir!” he shouted a big chested bald man wrangled my arm and spoke with a hint of that old southern charm “Everyone is waitin’! Come come, Mr. Grady! The Manager’s been very pleased with you lately Outside the Gold Room I read the big sash: “The Overlook Welcomes the Gradys at Last.” He handed me a bottle and he called to the crowd, “Should we make him the bartender? What do you think?” I froze for a moment, and I looked out at Betty, her smile was as dead as my urge to drink.
4.
Benny: I keep my piano in the bedroom so I can sleep that close to freedom, still sometimes I chew my fingers more than I should til they bleed. Father always said to keep my color off the keys. Teddy: I show my trophies in the gift shop and pose my father in the billiard room. I want the house to be a tribute to him— a museum. And though some may try, my father’s love can never die. Benny: Of all the vampires, kings and thieves dropping by to harvest me, none shall pay a higher price than he who shares my bed at night. Benny and Teddy (equal): I choose you I choose you I choose you to carry his pride I choose you I choose you I choose you to be his sacrifice Benny and Teddy (dominant): I keep my Hope locked in the basement— can’t let the dark get out or the light get in. I find that hope is not so good for my skin, or my throat. I don’t know what it is... I guess it’s just the way that I cope. Benny (dominant) and Teddy: I'll get the shotgun from the attic and leave our body on the lobby floor. Then when she finds us, Sam will clean up the mess, drive out east —somewhere meaningless— to bury father’s masterpiece.
5.
6.
Guest 04:31
Last night I watched you sitting on my porch chewing on your hair wrapped up in my shirt Some times I think you might know that I’m there but you don’t say a word no, you just stare right through me I just wanna know I keep you up at night when I wander’ through my house playing with the lights does messing with the blinds remind you of that night at all? I felt the knife go in as you licked my lips You told me all your life you had loved like this I watched you pick your teeth as the lights went down, screaming “Why me? Why me?” You told me death tastes better this side of town, saying “I’ll be, I’ll be here” Right now I watch you pull up in my car and stumble to the door, leaning on some dude Some how you make it to the second floor you try to hide my shoes but this dude is too sober Now he starts to question everything you told him, Like, “Are you really single?” and “Do you live alone?” And as you try hush him, tugging at his t-shirt I’m slamming all the windows and blowing up his phone I watched the knife go in as you ground your hips You told him all your life you had loved like this and then you bit your lip as you held his mouth (screaming, “Why me? Why me?”) You’re saying death tastes better this time around, saying “I’ll be, I’ll be…”
7.
Southern trees bear a strange fruit Blood on the leaves and blood at the root Black bodies swinging in the southern breeze Strange fruit hanging from the poplar trees Pastoral scene of the gallant South The bulging eyes and the twisted mouth Scent of magnolia, sweet and fresh Then the sudden smell of burning flesh Here is a fruit for the crows to pluck For the rain to gather, for the wind to suck For the sun to rot, for the tree to drop Here is a strange and bitter crop
8.
I'm a four-legged zombie on a two-step dance floor I'd double down your money honey if you know what's good for you Vampire won't go far Sucking the life out of the party Werewolf has no chance 'Cause Mr. Werewolf has no pants Since 1968, I've been the number one champ at the Monster Dance Party Since 1968, I've been the number one champ at the Monster Dance Party Since 1968, I've been the number one champ at the Monster Dance Party Lurch left Neck spasm Dead stare Right at 'em Drag leg Knash Teeth On flesh we feed Lurch left Neck spasm Dead stare Right at 'em Drag leg Knash Teeth On flesh we feed Lurch left Neck spasm Dead stare Right at 'em Drag leg Knash Teeth On flesh we feed Lurch left Neck spasm Dead stare Right at 'em Drag leg Knash Teeth On flesh we feed I'm the undead quadruped I could paint the town blood Ready, set, better step back or you could lose your Headstart, you need it Clumsy mummy, pock you in the I could cut a rug until it's bleeding through the ceiling Since 1968, I've been the number one champ at the Monster Dance Party Since 1968, I've been the number one champ at the Monster Dance Party Since 1968, I've been the number one champ at the Monster Dance Party Since 1968, I've been the number one champ at the Monster Dance Party Since 1968, I've been the number one champ at the Monster Dance Party Since 1968, I've been the number one champ at the Monster Dance Party

about

This is a compilation of Halloween songs that I've released over the last decade.

credits

released October 28, 2020

Exorcise Me, Guest, Grady, I Choose You, and Pelle written, produced and mixed by Gavin Castleton.

Strange Fruit written by Abel Meeropol, produced by Gavin Castleton and Brian Cass / Overclock Orchestra; mixed and mastered by Brian Cass. Vocals by Dua Boakye (of Bad Rabbits).

Falling written by Angelo Badalamenti David Lynch, produced and mixed by Gavin Castleton. Vocals by Lex Land.

Since 1968 written by Gruvis Malt; remixed and mastered by Brian Cass / Overclock Orchestra.

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about

Gavin Castleton Portland, Oregon

Gavin has released 9 solo albums and 8 EPs. Over the last two decades he has performed and recorded with acts like The Dear Hunter, Gruvis Malt, Ebu Gogo, Paranoid Social Club, Sage Francis, Club D’elf, Lex Land, Facing New York, and One Drop.

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