#blessed (2014)

by Gavin Castleton

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Annelise Poda
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Annelise Poda Really heartfelt songs that hit you across the 'feels' spectrum. Really enjoy the songwriting. Favorite track: Doom.
Justine Electra
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Justine Electra Blessed is a nice collection of souly songs with hip hop roots, a kind of "conscious-pop" (a genre which i coined myself recently). I bought it for my boyfriend for xmas, who's pretty picky, and i'm happy to say he listened to it all the way through and already has some favourites. I personally really like it too! Thanks Gavin - btw I really enjoy your youtube tutorials. Keep up the good work!!!
Jake Witcher
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Jake Witcher For the lover of eclectic independent music, Gavin seems to always be exactly where you want him to be. Creatively that is. Pay this man please. Favorite track: Murmur (Backyard remix).
abo
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abo Fucking dope. Left me feeling #doubleblessed Favorite track: Do You Right (feat. moorhaunter).
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    16 bangers (10 hits, 6 smashes) in a gorgeously depressing 2-panel eco wallet.

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  • Full Digital Discography

    Get all 18 Gavin Castleton releases available on Bandcamp and save 20%.

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of The Kingdom, Just My Imagination (Running Away With Me), Weak Intl. (2019), The Punchline EP (2016), Travelight (2014), It Was the Worst of Times, It Was the Worst of Times (2014), #blessed (2014), Tangerines (Single), and 10 more. , and , .

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1.
I know you feel it rap is wack so I'm back to spittin middle-aged man never learned to fit in I'm the one guy who can name the sickness every other artist talks ass and licorice yo, I know you feel it that gnawing, nagging, numbing, blogging, tagging, thumbing, Buzzfeed streaming, meme-ing, content coma everything is free but I'm bored as shit my malaise don't fit in the animated gif I have feelings that can't be expressed with kittens even the most freestyled now sounds written all coalesced into four loud kick drums uh uh uh - big surprise what's the new sound, y'all? Lies look me in the screen while I look you in the eyes, kid I'm the last naked voice you'll recognize I wanna get back into I wanna get back into I wanna get back into the water I wanna get back into I wanna get back into I wanna get back into the water I know you feel it that runaway science, that greater good that real thin line 'tween could and should that nature's end, that irish bull: that gods are men whose minds are full yo, I feel the heavy not prepped for when the levee breaks no more history, no mistakes your life is cake but something is wrong your artists fail to write the song that illustrates this encrypted love that we take to like swine to mud that Icarus blood that shoots you up and wears you out like fitted gloves you shackled doves you mired saints embrace the canvas erase the paint you know this road can not end well we'll burn in heaven you choirs of hell I wanna get back into I wanna get back into I wanna get back into the water [repeat ad nauseam]
2.
Diamonds 03:57
Once I got this fancy job I can't lie, I got fat Once you get a backyard to maintain it gets hard to go back I try to pull the pain from the most mundane of places but it all feels weak: a wrinkle on my face a cold sore in the cheek but if you stack the world on my back, if you squeeze the eyes from my head I'll still make those diamonds, diamonds, diamonds diamonds 'til I'm dead Call it what you will: a changing of the tune a pepper in the mill a salting of the wound so now it takes a week to write a song about writer's block and all I do is watch the clock but if you take the soup from my bowl, ya, if you take the love from my bed, if you take the hope from my soul well I'll still give you diamonds, diamonds, diamonds 'til I'm dead diamonds 'til I'm dead I still make those diamonds, diamonds, diamonds diamonds 'til I'm dead [blazing solo] Is it wrong that there's nothing wrong? Without conflict is it still a song? Should I take the money and stand still? Should I trade the wind for the trees? Or can I bear the weight with my will? Can I break the world on my knees? all for those diamonds, diamonds, diamonds, diamonds 'til I'm dead I still make those diamonds, diamonds, diamonds, diamonds 'til I'm dead [repeat ad nauseam]
3.
Big Triggers 04:21
No matter how far you think you've come there is a trigger for every gun and you'll shoot and shoot and shoot until your fingers go numb. Sometimes love will creep up on you like a rainstorm you'll be going out for ice cream then you're soaking wet and ice cream is something no one should draw pain from but there it is, a lightning bolt in your mint chocolate chip. You'll be driving with your foot stuck out the window on a highway in Texas you see a beautiful sky freckled by a million hot air balloons you hear shouting and a frenzified honking from somewhere behind you when you pull over love's chomping on the bumper with its very biggest tooth - it's the truth. Well you could be relaxing in a Nanosuit, locked in a steel cage, in an underwater lair with a pack of stingrays with the laser-mounted cannons and the self-destructing salmon on patrol outside, and not a minnow in sight. But of course you'll start to think about what would happen if the stingrays were to duke it out with a woolly mammoth in the megafaunic battle of the century and WHAM! you're caught in a loving bear trap wrapped in a grizzly suit. No matter how far you think you've come there is a trigger for every gun and you'll shoot and shoot and shoot until your fingers go numb. There's no winning her back, there's no right thing to say there's no skipping ahead, there's no running away There's just love and the hole that remains when it leaves you one day. Sometimes love will creep up on you like a birthday you'll be brushing your teeth, and then you're 30 years old. And you can try to wiggle by it but your hair grays and soon enough clumps of love are chillin' on your pillowcase. You'll be shopping at a PriceRite for some things to cook a dinner for a new friend you'll be excited 'bout this sort of healthy diet that you've got yourself on you start to bloat from these adulty kinds of things that got you feeling like you're starting to get headstrong you turn the corner and love hits you as the world's biggest aisle of parmesan... cheese. No matter how far you think you've come there is a trigger for every gun and you'll shoot and shoot and shoot until your fingers go numb. There's no winning her back, there's no right thing to say there's no skipping ahead, there's no running away There's just love and the footprint it leaves when it steps on your face. So you tell her that you're moving on but you've told her so with another song 'cause the bittersweet nostalgia triggers on.
4.
Liquid Truth 05:09
Don't you wonder how you got stuck in this loop - working for the paycheck that you use to buy the suit you say, "Well, I just got paid and my money's all gone… fuck the rent, tonight I'm buying liquid truth.” Heyeyey Don't you wanna go back to life before the job? Yeah, you were broke but at least you weren't choking on the fog and the older I get, the less I remember the plan It's easy to lose track of time when you're putting in time for the man Don't you wonder how you got stuck in this loop - working for the paycheck that you use to buy the suit you say, "Well, I just got paid and my money's all gone… fuck the rent, tonight I'm buying liquid truth.” Heyeyey Don't you find yourself taking work home… to the bar and don't you ask yourself, “Ya how the fuck I get home with no car?” and don't tell her you’re a musician, just because you're looking to score. And you look deep in the drink and you speak the truth, "Yo, bottle: I shoulda spilled my life on the keyboard like dadadadaaaaa…” Don't you wonder how you got stuck in this loop - working for the paycheck that you use to buy the suit you say, "Well, I just got paid and my money's all gone… fuck the rent, tonight I'm buying liquid truth.” Heyeyey you gotta get up you gotta get up you gotta get up you gotta get up Don’t you ever ask yourself, "Did I take this job or did this job take me?" Don’t you ever ask yourself, "Did I take this job or did this job take me?" Don't you ever answer, "I'm a piece of shit” Don't you wonder how you got stuck in this loop - working for the paycheck that you use to buy the suit you say, "Well, I just got paid and my money's all gone… fuck the rent, tonight I'm buying liquid truth" Heyeyey [repeat ad nauseam]
5.
Average Man 03:08
Now when I was a young boy,  ‘bout the age of five  my teachers told me I could be the greatest man alive  they told me I could change the world be whatever I wanted to be there was no one in the world like me every one of us was so unique I’d not be an average man no sir, I’d be no average man   so I had those big dreams and I had those big skills had a reason to live and I had some time to kill but the world got louder still yeah the world got louder still it tried to drown me out it tried to break down my will “Get out my way, I ain’t no average man” I was thinking so much bigger than the average man  they flood my feed with all these useless lists while I was curing cancer with these nonstop hits so I was bitter towards the average man then I hit my thirties like a bird against a window I couldn’t reconcile the two disparate versions of me: on the one hand was this man in search of comfort and on the other was this meta-superhero I could be  maybe my eyes were never big maybe my head was small the man who knows his place may be the greatest man of all  I found freedom in obscurity and purity in poverty why try to be amazing in a world so saturated with amazingness?  it’s blazing us exhausting me,  I wonder what it’s costed me, the price I’ve paid for baby boomers  propping up my self-esteem, I should let go of all these scripted, movie-lifted dreams and seek solace in my species  as an average man I’ll pay admission like an average man I’ll raise a family like the average man I’ll rock the hairline of an average man I’ll binge on Netflix like an average man I drop a remix like an average man I crowd-source it like an average man I’m hyperbolic like an average man I only iterate like an
6.
Everything you love will die.
7.
Mailbox 00:49
you know.
8.
Don’t know how else to put it to ya it’s not about what you are and even if I could feel something when you speak to me grasping the idea’s a little hard Right now you know I just couldn’t do you right Right now you know I just couldn’t do you right Right now you know I just couldn’t do you right Right now Right now Right now I could lead you on make you think I’m all in then be gone I’m saying it’s you, my dear, that I’m running It’s just that right now, you know, I’m a little numb Right now you know I just couldn’t do you right Right now you know I just couldn’t do you right Right now you know I just couldn’t do you right Right now Right now Don’t fault me baby I just wanna hold on to you just wanna hold on to you Love to love you, baby but I can’t see it through I just can’t see it through Don’t fault me baby I just wanna hold on to you just wanna hold on to you Love to love you, baby but I can’t see it through I just can’t see it through Right now you know I just couldn’t do you right Right now you know I just couldn’t do you right Right now you know I just couldn’t do you right Right now Right now [repeat ad nauseam]
9.
Doom 04:14
They say depression is a weight that pulls you down but to be honest I've not found that to be true it grabs me by the lungs, it tries to lift me off this planet chewing up the final threads that connect me to you and I've been running out of things to keep me grounded I'm having trouble finding love that makes me stick with every song I try to run it down before it runs me through everybody's talking ‘bout progress but all I see is Doom it follows me around it drips into my shoes I feel like I'm the only one who sees the future as a noose I got them future blues, Satan If you don’t know what I’m going through I can try to spell it out for you: Sometimes the sinking starts just thinking ‘bout my cel phone I wonder how I have so many friends but feel alone I notice how I feel so weightless when it’s left at home and how I fill up every space with content that doesn’t leave me content I start to spiral down through thoughts of population boom perhaps the cancer starts the second that we leave the womb it seems the more we’re extricated from the food chain, the more creative time we have but the less we have to say it’s all Doom it follows me around it drips into my shoes I feel like I'm the only one who sees the future as a noose I got them future blues I understand it now how a man finds himself on a water tower raining down helter skelter sell the whole house for the underground shelter feel the storm comin I can’t stand still enough to stop my mind running I see it play out this song is a bread crumb, a toast to the empire enjoy the smell of meat while my feet in the fire I know I’m not preaching to the choir whatever I know you’d rather dance than understand the wiring truth is overrated, reality is tiresome cling to the twos and the fours dance like I’m talking about how young we are sounding like Fun.-loving folklore ignore what I’m saying while I desecrate the #blessed dance floor hard to articulate the great white fate the end coming nearer the writing on the mirror says Doom it follows me around it drips into my shoes I feel like I'm the only one who sees the future as a noose I got them future blues [repeat ad nauseam]
10.
I don't know if I still have it in me - another hit song you want the heat, I got that wrong kind of chimney my export is busted you’re neck tortoise mustard the absurd sounds profound when the wordsmith is trusted only desperate men will trade a rhyme for a message Now who'm I gonna blame when I have the least invested? when the cattle car gets AC, the battle scars fade a master of the blind is just a fancy kind of slave the god of rap is stingy if the sacrifice ain’t made so step into the realm and get blazed
11.
I killed this boy (I killed this boy, ya) I shanked him well (I shanked him well, ya) I blazed this boy (I blazed this boy, ya) I taught him hell (I taught him hell, ya) Dude tried to step to me online (he tried to step to me online) I let him see in my mind he looks around he’s saying, “Oh shit… I’m just a bitch” He tried to run (he tried to run, ya) that boy tried to hide (that boy tried to hide, ya) I called him out (I know you work for Sprint, you weak ass bitch) and I broke his stride (ya, ya, ya, ya, ya, ya) I gave him one chance to apologize but he just kept right on lying that’s when he learned that you don’t step to Gav Caz on Twitter Yeah.
12.
I'm barely here I'm barely here my skin's so thin the fluorescents shine right through me Can they see how close I am? like an abscess leaking fluid How many people in this store are just about to lose it? I ran up to the counter like a man who's on fire crying out to the pharmacist, “Give me something to make the world smaller… something to make the world smaller… I need something to make the world smaller for me.” ‘Cause I just can't handle this easy life gotta find something wrong just to feel alright I just can't stand this easy life am I afraid of love, or just love a fight? Oh no Lately it seems so easy to get paralyzed by the size of things (oh no, no no) my soul’s agoraphobic, I can't find a light to shine in the night of things (oh no, no no) I need a motorbike or a puppy some gravity to turn the tide of things (oh no, no no) it's so easy to lose your narrative when you question the wrong and right of things (ohhhh) When I think about all that pain I caused to the girls I’ve loved and the friends I’ve lost I wonder how I ever sleep at night… I guess I just can't handle this easy life gotta find something wrong just to feel alright I just can’t stand this easy life am I afraid of love, or just love a fight? [repeat ad nauseam]
13.
Puppy Love 03:52
Love has 4 legs and a nose that’s never dry and those never-wandering eyes of the most forgiving hue some day I’ll learn to be open as your ears and as quiet as your tongue as persistent as your tooth but ’til that day I’ll watch you’re every move while I’m wiping up your youth It must be puppy love ‘cause I’m cleaning up that piss again It must be puppy love ‘cause my shoes are chewed to bits again, yeah I wasn’t looking for much just something to hold me down And that hamster didn’t need me enough so I put him in the ground [after he died of natural causes, come on] Though everyone around me told me not to play the fool I couldn’t help but throw myself into my father’s shoes It must be puppy love cause I’m cleaning up that poop again it must be puppy love cause clumsiness is cute again it must be puppy love I’m freezing while you sniff the world it must be puppy love you’ll choke yourself to catch a squirrel (idiot) it must be puppy love I’m paying for this free-range food argghghgh it must be puppy love ‘cause everything just makes you puke I don’t what it is that makes me love you like this when all you give is teeth and piss I know that’s not fair, I know you also bring a houseful of hair, too I just… I just wanna choke you out ok ok, you’re just a baby you’re just a baby now I get it you just wanna play with me now well how bout we wait ’til daddy is fully awake I’m sorry, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to yell let’s get you back into your cell and it puts the lotion on its skin
14.
When I was 29 I had one key left on my key ring I packed up 13 boxes, sold some gear, and threw out most things I tetris-ed my whole life into a car and drove out to Portland Now it’s been 5 years and somehow I’ve got a full key ring again. Is there a reason I accumulate a house full? Is there a need to fill whatever space I’m in? Have I forgotten what my measure of success is? Nothing will hold me in the end I will consolidate my life into a backpack I want to liberate the feather from the wing I want to liquidate the contents of my closet so I can just let go of everything everything everything I recognize there’s so much privilege in the impetus to throw away the big advantages my parents handed to me but privileges and happiness are not synonymous, freedom from the food chain can be a source of misery I’ve seen the poorest people wear a bigger smile than anything my manicured mouth has ever shown I’ve seen the richest people wander aimless and alone, searching through their toys, living life in the cel phone I think we’re gonna see the most ironic reckoning for disregarding lessons of the humble and the meek as loud as I’ve been in my life, I know the truth is the less a person says, the more they have to teach. I will consolidate my life into a backpack I want to liberate the feather from the wing I want to liquidate the contents of my closet so I can just let go of everything everything everything [repeat ad nauseam]
15.
When the sails of your tall ship match the stillness of the water from the petals of your small lips falls the flower of our daughter and you smile the whole way back and you smile the whole way back When the bugs in the tall grass fan your face in the hot sun you will walk down the rock path touching moss with your thumb and you smile the whole way back and you smile the whole way back and you smile the whole way back and you smile the whole way back When the crackle of an old creek takes you back to our backyard cutting ribbons from your daydreams bowing presents from your scars and you smile the whole way back and you smile the whole way back and you smile the whole way back and you smile the whole way back When that sunset through the oak tree paints a leopard on the vast earth you will wander in your bare feet to this old heart murmur
16.
Maybe there's just one last door between your lover and your heart maybe it was forged from the most impervious stainless steel and hinged on the most expensive parts maybe you will wait your whole life for someone to unlock it maybe they will maybe they won't maybe you're wrong about which side of the door the keyhole is on and that's the most important part

about

I refer to this album as a "mixtape" because it is a collection of sample-heavy songs and scraps from the last few years woven together somewhat fluidly. Also, it will get you sexual intercourse if you share it.

credits

released April 23, 2014

Do You Right written by moorhaunter and Gavin Castleton.
Key Ring written by C-Gak and Gavin Castleton
All other songs written by Gavin Castleton
All songs mixed by Gavin Castleton, except for Diamonds and Average Man mixed by Brian Cass for Overclock Inc.
All songs mastered by Rob Arbelo except Diamonds mastered by Brian Cass.

background vocals on Waterboarding and Diamonds by Lex Land
bass on Never Landed by Justin Abene
drums on Never Landed by Brendan Bell
bass on Do You Right and Doom by Gray Robertson
baritone guitar on Average Man by Brian Cass
lead guitar on Diamonds by Chris Mosely
rhythm guitar on Diamonds by Brandon Clemmens
commute samples by DJ HeyBradWhatsUp
drum and synth production on Key Ring by C-Gak
additional production on Diamonds and Average Man by Brian Cass for Overclock Inc.

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Gavin Castleton Portland, Oregon

Gavin has released 9 solo albums and 8 EPs. Over the last two decades he has performed and recorded with acts like The Dear Hunter, Gruvis Malt, Ebu Gogo, Paranoid Social Club, Sage Francis, Club D’elf, Lex Land, Facing New York, and One Drop.

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