Product Team Offsite

from by Gavin Castleton

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lyrics

Ya’ll product meetings suck!
You hacks leave me baffled,
so slack jawed I wanna smack ya’ll with a laptop!
I’m up on Tumblr while you corporate clowns bungle up priorities,
preach on market fit without authority.

“Your spreadsheet is boring, B”
Keep that junior dev team quarantined!
Feed em sprint points rather than a proper raise—
kind of funny CS dummies go to code camp but can’t get Agile for the wage blaze.

We can settle this like men
in the ping pong den.
Yeah, yeah “P-I-N-G” for serve—we both know how it’s gonna end:
me: not a single sleeve rolled up
and you? Disheveled, unkept, soaking through your Trunk Club.

Go ahead and drop that topspin trash, B!
They call me “Backboard” because nothing gets passed me.
Now hobble back to your ergonomic ivory tower
and let me jump on Slack to let the team know that you’re still wack, coward.

credits

from Weak Intl., released September 10, 2019

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all rights reserved

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about

Gavin Castleton Portland, Oregon

In addition to releasing 8 albums and 8 EPs of original material, Gavin Castleton is the keyboardist and backing vocalist for The Dear Hunter. Over the last two decades he has performed and recorded with acts like Gruvis Malt, Ebu Gogo, Paranoid Social Club, Sage Francis, Club D’elf, Lex Land, Facing New York, and One Drop. ... more

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